39-year-old widower kicks cruel in-laws off his property after they threw a party at his lake house without permission: '[I] shut the party down'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Apr 11, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

If you have the sneaking suspicion that your in-laws don't like you, you're probably right. Of course, it makes sense that the early stages of meeting your partner's parents can be an adjustment. You're adjusting to one another's likes, dislikes, sensibilities, and lifestyles. You're trying to find common ground because you're presumably going to be in each other's lives for a long time. If all parties approach this adjustment period with grace and understanding, then it should be smooth and relatively seamless. 

Unfortunately, most folks do not approach this period with that level of empathy. When it comes to lifestyles and choices, that's when people can get defensive and entitled. This 39-year-old had the unfortunate experience of dealing with his partner's in-laws without the help of his partner.

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    "I wanted everyone off of the properties"
    via Ecaterina MD

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The author prefaces this story with the interpretation that his in-laws did not approve of their son's choice in a partner from the get-go. After his husband unexpectedly passed away, the author had to deal with his in-laws on his own. This became an issue after they showed their true cards while using his own lake house properties to throw parties without the author's approval or permission. It got to the point that the author needed to get them off of his property, and while getting the sheriff involved may not have been ideal, it's clear that these infuriating people needed to be reminded of whose home they were using.

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    "AITA for having my in-laws escorted off of my property?"

    My (39M) husband (39M) and I were together for 10 years and married for seven before he unexpectedly d last year. Before and throughout our marriage, his parents never really liked me. I have no proof of this,
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    but I think it was because he was bi and I robbed them of their chance for him to marry a woman and have children. Despite how they felt about me, I was not only always cordial to them, but I
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    allowed them use of my two lake houses for whenever they wanted. The first lake house was owned by my parents since before my brothers and I were born. The second lake house was purchased by my brothers and I when the original owner decided to sell. The houses are right next
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    to each other and perfect for large family gatherings. During our time together, my husband's family celebrated holidays and extended weekends at the houses. And it was never an issue
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    because I was at almost each of those getaways. Recently, my husband's youngest brother got engaged and I knew his family would be throwing him and his fiancé a party like they did for all of their kids (except for my
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    husband and I, but we didn't have a big ceremony or anything, so I can't prove the lack of party had anything to do with me). I also expected an invitation because I was incredibly friendly with the youngest brother having gone to many sporting events and concerts with him. But no one
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    ever mentioned anything about a party. And when I finally asked the parents, I was told that they weren't doing anything big. Fast forward to last Monday, and I got a text from one of the neighbors at the lake asking if I'd be joining the family for the party. Come to
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    find out, the whole family was at the lake houses with guests and had been for that entire weekend to celebrate the engagement. At first I wasn't bothered by not being there, but then I got another text from the neighbor
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    one night telling me that mother- in-law dr tenly admitted that I wasn't invited. So I drove over an hour to town with the paperwork listing my brothers and I as owners, and showed the sheriff the text message stating I wasn't invited and told them I wanted everyone off of the properties.
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    The sheriff and some deputies escorted me to the houses to shut the party down. The sheriff entered the party to shut it down telling the guests that the owner wanted everyone gone. Mom and dad in law threw a fit and that's when the sheriff arrested them for public int cation. Youngest
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    brother is mad at me, but his fiancé is on my side. The brothers and sisters are also split as to whether or not I was wrong. But there seems to be a common consensus that I could've handled things differently. So, AITA?
    via Filmmaker1185
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    Cheezburger Image 10492227840
    via Ecaterina MD

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Edit to add: There's always been a hidden lockbox with keys in them. I don't know that anyone has ever had copies made, but I
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    paid the neighbor's husband to change all the locks on both houses and to lock the garage doors and disable the garage door opener. I had to get back home because I have a cat and dog to look after, otherwise I would've changed everything myself.
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    Odd_Task8211 NTA. It was bad enough you were not invited, but not invited to a party on your own property? That they used without even asking you? Definitely NTA.
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    calacmack NTA. Sort of off-topic but wouldn't you be held legally liable if someone was injured on the property? It seems irresponsible for them to host a party in someone else's home without their permission.
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    Apprehensive-Car... NTA Did you ever know that you're my hero? You are everything I want to be.
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    Seriously though, the fact that they used your property and tried to hide it, I think your Nuclear War option was totally justified. They f around, they found out. ed
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    Maleficent Theor... NTA. Change the locks immediately. If you have a key hidden in a fake rock, remove it.
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    Scary-Cycle1508 NTA i think its time to remind your former ILs that these are your properties and as they do not seem to think of
    via Filmmaker1185
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    you as family, neither are them to you anymore so their privilege to use your properties are indefinitely revoked. Then take every key from them, or change the locks. on the properties.
    via Filmmaker1185

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family drama aita AITAH husband entitled people karma father in law in laws mother in law family entitled people
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